Saturday, 12 February 2011

Putting all your eggs in one basket

Image: m_bartosch /
Egg donation was in the news recently and whilst watching ‘Loose Women’ where they were discussing it and the procedure you go through, as I sat on the sofa, I thought – would I do that for someone close to me that was unable to have children any other way?

Later that month I was speaking to a very close friend of mine, who I have grown up with since being 5 years old and she mention egg donation and whether I would consider it. Now, this said by anyone else would be a general question but my friend has a genetic disorder which she could very easily pass on to a baby, they have been through lots of disappointing stages to try and have a baby both naturally and looking at IVF where only healthy eggs, without this gene were planted but their options are running out and their hopes have been slashed.

It got me thinking back to the programme and the procedure you have to go through so I looked it up online. I didn’t realise that it was such an invasive operation with quite a few risks, including damage to your bowel or bladder and potentially making you sterile, obviously there are always risks during any surgery but egg donation for a women is not like it is for a man, who has to wander into a private room clutching a cup and a magazine from the top shelf!

Also, being a mum – only 4 months into the job, but I can see characteristics of me, I can see little bits of me from baby photos and nobody in this world could prize me away from my little girl, how would I feel if I saw those characteristics in a friends child? I think I would be insanely jealous and part of me would want my child back. I know I couldn’t do surrogacy for this reason, there is no way I could hand a baby over that I had looked after for 9 months. I would also wait until I was happy that I had had all the children I was going to in case it did make me sterile.

On reflection I came to the conclusion that emotionally I don’t think I could do it and also weighing up the risks and potential problems of surgery, bearing in mind I have had a lot of bowel problems so have a very thin lining which could be punctured very easily, I decided that my answer would have to be no. Having said that, I feel desperately sorry for my friend and a bit selfish as I have a beautiful baby girl but I know that she would never expect me to do anything or think bad of me if she did come and ask me straight out and at least I can tell her my thought process.

What do you all think of egg donation? Would you do it for a friend or family member or would you do it for money? I look forward to your comments.

Emily x

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