Saturday, 2 April 2011

Do I HAVE to have another baby?

It seems as if every day someone looks at Taylor, pinches his cheek, coo’s and says “So, when are you having another one?”. They then address my four month old baby and say “I bet you’d love a sister wouldn’t you!”. Yes, it would appear that I have committed the cardinal parenting sin – I have had two boys, we don’t have a girl to even things up. Clearly I should throw away my contraceptives immediately and work on (for want of a better phrase!) conceiving a girl.

Now the problem with this is... I’m not sure I want any more babies! Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys and I know full well how blooming lucky I am to have them! I have fertility “issues” and struggle to get pregnant, it took three and a half years of “trying” to conceive both of them. We were told we might not ever manage to have kids naturally (I have PCOS and ovulate approximately once every six months or so – needle in a haystack trying to pin those lucky three days down), so to be honest I think we’ve done pretty well all things considered!

And I love boys! That isn’t to say I wouldn’t have been just as thrilled if either or both had been a girl, but boys are great! You get what is on the tin- mischief, mud, mess but also a lot of affection! I really don’t think I NEED a girl to complete me or my family, I wonder why other people think that?

Do people who have all girls get the same? Are they almost urged to go out and have a boy?

I think your family is complete when it’s complete. Right now we are perfectly content. We have two happy and healthy *touch wood*, little men, who absolutely adore each other, and I imagine will be the best of friends, when not killing each other over stolen toys / computers / girlfriends as they grow. I can’t see me having another child, and that doesn’t really bother me, although I’m sure I’ll get twinges when Taylor goes off to pre-school, but regardless – we would never try for another child on the chance it “may be a girl this time”.

I would love to say to someone, just once “Well we got pregnant again, after your insistence that we needed a girl, and we’ve just found out it’s another BOY! Gee thanks!”. Wicked aren’t I!?

Just a random mini-rant. I have to wonder if subconsciously some of us are still programmed into the “perfect picture” of Mum, Dad, Boy & Girl. That is not a “normal” family in my opinion, each to their own – I’m one of SIX siblings (three boys, three girls lol), but that is a post for another day.

Is it just something people say then, or is there more meaning to “you need to have a *insert sex* now”? Hmm, curious!



Sarah said...

People are funny with what they say. When hubbie and I planned to have a third (I got clucky again) everyone said, 'Trying for a boy?'. In my mind another child is just that and all my husband hoped for was a healthy child. We were enjoying family life and seeing our first two children grow and develop unique, wonderful personalities and felt like we had another 'in us'. We didn't mind what sex (we now have 3 girls). We still get the question from some people (often the chap at the corner diary or a lady at the supermarket checkout), 'When are you trying again?' or worse still a statement (in front of our 3 girls), 'You might be lucky fourth time'!!

I really think our family feels complete now. And we feel extremely blessed to have 3 healthy, bright children.

Anonymous said...

I have three boys aged 5, 3 and 4 months. My grandad openly told me that I must be sad to have had another boy, as a girl would have helped me at home (!) but my boys will all leave me! That didn't help my post-natal hormonal state. I too have PCOS and each pregnancy required fertility clinic management so I understandably feel very lucky to have my lively lovely boys. Of course a girl would have been great - some pink in a sea of blue, but as an old lady once told me "the perfect family is the one you are given".

M.F.B HQ said...

Hi Nicki,

When I had my boy (now almost 5) there wasn't a time when someone didn't coo at him and forgot to add " When is the next one coming? It would be lovely to have a little girl!"

Well 3 years later BooBoo was born and yes she was a girl like my husband and I always wanted BUT if she wasn't... tough luck!

I wouldn't have had any more... for me 2 is plenty!

In fact my husbands factory has been closed ;) so even if I receive comments of "You should really have another one" which I have had plenty of...(somehow people think I have nothing else to do but pull them out!!)... I just tell them our factories are closed!!

Like the penguins of Madagascar say... Just smile and wave, smile and wave! ;)

Monica xx

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